Wednesday, November 12, 2008

engineer joke

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."


Guano & Associates said...

How can you recognize an extroverted engineer?

He looks at your shoes when he speaks to you.

Guano & Associates said...

Eleven people are dangling below a helicopter on a rope (ten geologists and one mining engineer).

Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go in order to save all the others.

They could not decide who should volunteer. Finally the mining engineer said he would let go of the rope since the geologists are used to doing everything for the company. They forsake their families, don't claim all of their expenses, and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.

When he finished his moving speech, all the geologists began to clap.

Moral: Never underestimate the powers of the mining engineer.

Guano & Associates said...

A group of mining enginners and a geologists take a train to a conference. Each geologist holds a ticket but the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket. The geologists just shake their heads and secretly love the fact that the arrogrant mining engineers will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly, one of the mining engineers calls out, "The conductor is coming!" At once, all of the mining engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the geologists. When he notices that the toilet is occupied, he knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!". One of the mining engineers slides the single ticket under the door and the conductor continues merrily on his rounds.

For the return trip, the geologists decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they see that the mining engineers don't buy any tickets at all.

After a while, one of the mining engineers announces again, "The conductor is coming!" Immediately, all of the geologists race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All of the mining engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last mining engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the geologists and says, "Ticket please!"


Geologists like to use the methods of the mining engineers but they really don't understand them.

Guano & Associates said...

Once upon a time, three geologists were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a large, wild river. They desperately wanted to get to the other side.

The first geologist kneels down and prays, "Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river."

POW! The Lord gives him long arms and strong legs. It takes him two hours and he nearly drowns, but he makes it across successfully.

The second geologist, watching all of this, prays, "Lord, please give me the strength AND the tools necessary to cross this river"

POW! The Lord gives him a tub and a paddle. He manages to cross the river but almost capsizes several times in the process.

The third geologist, watching all of this, prays, "Lord, please give me the strength, the means, and the intelligence necessary to cross this river".

POW! The Lord changes the geologist into a mining engineer. He takes a quick glance at the map, walks a few meters upstream and crossrd the bridge.

SarahPyrah said...

@Joe and Matt - thanks for the laugh! those are ALL great.

Heather's Pink said...

An engineer rides up to his friend on a girl's bike.

1st Engineer: Where did you get the bike?

Biking Engineer: You'll never believe what happened to me. A beautiful blond rode her bike up to me and tore off her clothes and said take what you want.

1st Engineer: Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't fit you.

Guano & Associates said...

Dan told one my all time favorites. Only an engineer can tell that one with a straight face (and get the joke!)